Today's meditation went about 80 minutes.
Body: Usual affirmations, though it felt less effective. My mind was not quieting as well as hoped. Potentially due to feeling exhausted.
Mind: Looked back on events of some of my teenage sexual fantasies and experiences. While awkward, they pointed the way towards who I am and who I want to be. By no means perfect memories, but important. Alternate time lining, I can't help but think I probably dodged the bullet of teenage pregnancy by not being born female as my self control was lax and my desires strong.
Soul: So, I immediately got back to the three deity figures holding back the energy of my spells.
The Virgin Mary: Seemed to be a sort of avatar of biblical feminine virtue- be humble, quiet, supportive, etc. Apparently, not approving of my transition. I put up barriers and pushed them further from me, blocked links of their energy to mine. While I'm sure her spirit could restore such links, it would not be in character for an avatar of passive feminine virtue to do so.
The Valkyrie: Even with research, I'm not 100% which valkyrie or goddess she was. Stubborn, stern, bearing a shield and spear, she essentially argued that cheating the system would be a problem. Which is fine, I just asked that she let me reclaim the energy for fueling my transition as it is. She acquiesced with much fuss.
Not Zeus: It took me a moment to figure out I was dealing with Odin, not Zeus. I suppose it should not surprise me, but it did. It was very weird, and I feel as if I ought to keep some of it private. Broad stroke of it is that being transgender makes me stronger, we had a tough conversation, and that the energy can be reclaimed for transition.
Not all how I'd like it to go. I'd like reason to win over most entities but not every one is going to be reasonable.
Results: Waited most of the day to post to see if any results popped up. Nothing beyond the general good attitude, but I don't really need anything else.
#domagick
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