Saturday, December 16, 2017

Do Magick 30 Day Challenge- Transition Meditations Day 15

A busy day and late night kept me from making my blog post, but not from completing my meditation.

Body: Usual affirmations

Mind: I went through various LGBTQ slurs in an effort to reclaim and reform, remembering times I've been called them or used them. Felt this was pretty effective live fire for eventual assholes. Names can certainly hurt, but they will sting less.

Soul: Entering my inner space, darkness greets me, my feet creating circles of light. As I traverse the dark, the circles of light appear briefly and vanish, different colors, spiraling, until I find a central circle down a deep pit. Landing upon it, like an elevator, it goes down, down, down into some deep place, feeling sort of like the subconscious. I feel a door and let it open, expecting more darkness, zen meditation or something.

Instead, it's a blizzard. As I traverse the door, I get a cute little parka on, goggles, but I also get snakey. Snake tail, snakes for arms, the upper torso of a woman, I slide across the snow unsure of what to do. The snow is blinding and I try to speak to it. Nothing. Then, I begin seeing and feeling the motion of ice giants. One stops, making as if to smash me, but I tell it I'm pro-jotun and it stops. Traversing further, I see someone building a fire, which just happens to be one Sarenth Odinson.

We have a brief exchange about how I seem to keep forgetting/denying some of my experiences with the Norse entities, my serpentine nature, and it's true. I do have a snake/Jormangund connection of some type, I know it, but I often act as if it isn't quite as real for some reason. The snow storm stops after this and meditation ends.

Results: Blogging my feelings and meditations have definitely been making it easier for me to talk to people about my gender dysphoria and the challenges of being transgender. The embarrassment I've often felt has been vastly reduced.

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