Results: Yesterday I did the Strength and Wisdom Ceremony posted here, chanting for what felt like forever. It feels like the meditation work I've done is inspiring me to do more meditation work, like I'm just trying to get the reaction to reach critical mass so it can become an unstoppable process.
Body: Usual affirmations.
Mind: I did an alternate timeline of awakening amnesiac on a desert island, of losing all the identity reinforcing bits of past holding me back. Wearing dresses upon the beach, reading comics and novels and identifying freely, without someone telling me who I am or who I was, I'm eventually returned to the world and rescued, transition the only natural response to a world suddenly insistent on a different biological identity. I imagined a post transition me running upon the beaches of the same island and feeling wonderfully, blissfully free.
Soul: I went in upon steps of light, but felt a need to revisit shadow work, go dark, see what happens. So, I start vibrating lower and lower, get a nice demonic form, expecting male as some insight/ punishment/argument from my subconscious, but getting female instead. Yay!
So, the fires of hell and such, and the hippo is back. I am ready to tackle the hippo, and this time, I reintegrate the missing lower brain portion of sexual urge and identity. The hippo immediately morphs into a crying pregnant woman and we begin talking. So much fear and sadness.
In short, the process of getting to be who I want to be, the hard physical truths, the fears of how others will react or how it all works out in the end are very present, and while the talk is sort of repetitive to earlier talks with other inner selves, I think this one is just as important as all the rest.
I reassure and return to the normal world.
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