Do Magick 30 Day Challenge- Transition Meditations Day 29

I stayed up late last night, so late it became the next day, and I attempted a meditation. While my eyes stayed closed for 30 minutes and there were visions and feelings, it was a mess. I needed more sleep before I started that when.

Mess Meditation Summary: Affirmations as normal. Mild reinforcement of good memories 24 hours old. Soul meditation was barren and confused, no real change or meetings. Almost a go home you're drunk response from the inner world.

So, I did another meditation after I woke up, but not before checking Facebook and Domagick. Lo and behold, someone has an article on shamanic deconstruction reconstruction, inspired by someone else's posts. Considering all the work to my inner world, it feels like it's time to get my energy self/selves reconstituted to reflect all that work.

Body: Affirmations as usual.

Mental: Briefly revisited moments where I've undergone energy rebuilds, rebirths, etc. I've not done too many of these, at least not really potent ones. Give them all a big thumbs up and gratitude for being part of my journey.

Soul: I return to the watchtower where I had been trying to formulate my magical name. I approach in  robe, concealing, as the me I was is not the me I will be, or the me typing this message. I climb the steps of the tower slowly, and the steps change to become more daunting, at least 100 of them. First smaller, then icy, then frictionless, having to adapt a little more with each step up, to a dead end. I phase through it, to the isolated room at the top, where things are reconstructed for the surgery.

There is an all call for all the selves and parts of self needed to do this work, sending out love and self acceptance. I ask for a vote of whether this should go forward. We get a majority agreement and I make it a point to force my 'observer' into the body as it happens- no passively getting out of this. My brain is removed, eyeballs hanging, watching the body be hacked to pieces. My brain is put into a blender, whirr, all dark, like zen, no panic, a sense of time needed for my mind to come back. My mind gets poured into a skull type mold and I'm a head, but with no body. That head, and others, are all brought to a headless Queen, looking among who she wishes to be that day. I speak up, and do not accept this. This is not the true me.

We begin to sing, and as we sing our bodies are built up, and self love flows to conquer these demons of fear. Hand in hand, all these many selves begin to sing our new self into existence. I am in this new body, and to finish it, I have to sing myself in the new body. I send a wave of self love out to every corner of my being, transforming some, but leaving behind many smoldering corpses. I didn't mean to be destructive, but even those selves knew the cost, that they must die for me to be reborn. I have a short funeral for them, thank them, and let them slip into the dark of the unconscious.

The last step, returning to the universe, was very hard. Trance felt deep, like my eyes were glued shut, and I had to descend the hundred steps, finish out my meditation in usual fashion more than once, physical touch being my returner.

I feel energetic, like my soul is pulling my skin tight, like a mold that is slowly shaping my body and not the other way around. It's a subtle, soft strength, elegant in design.

I'm not sure what tomorrow's meditation will bring, but I feel as if I've definitely gained something at this point.

#domagick