Another early and wonderful morning!
Body: As per usual. I have been adding more parts as I think of them. It feels like the more I do here, the more it works. For instance, I didn't think to add my teeth on the first run through, but did later and it seems to help.
Mind: Today I thought about clothes and makeup. It was something I was very reluctant to embrace at first, even causing initial discomfort, but over time I've embraced them more and more and realized it's mostly my own negative self image holding me back in this area. I also thought about fiction I've created over the years with transgender themes. While often drawn just for me, it was important steps in figuring out my gender identity and sexuality.
Soul: So, my inner world was flooded when I got in. Getting myself into the proper mode took a bit of calibration, finally becoming a mermaid. I was confronted by a large, patriarchal figure, who pretty much looked like the father from little mermaid. I put him on pause and ventured within to find a plethora of fears working him like a giant puppet, pretty much an avatar of patriarchal garbage, garbage I pretty much instantly destroyed once I realized it.
The flooding was caused by an inner self of depression, almost set like a bomb to flood the place. Brief chitchat got them to cut the waterworks for a little while so I could refocus on what I'd came to do- confront my fear of madness. Cornering them, I eventually was able to get them to see reason that what I was doing wasn't madness and I gave them a job: remind me to ground now and then. I can admit, I often don't ground as much as many recommend, and I don't think I really need to all the time, but doing so once or twice a week is probably not a bad idea.
Results: Therapy yesterday was strange as I essentially feel as if I'm no longer holding myself back. Life is moving in the direction I want it to and I don't plan on stopping. I'm feeling rejuvenated and motivated every day and I hope I can keep it up.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment