Do Magick 30 Day Challenge- Transition Meditations Day 10

Last night I did some energy work that ultimately resulted in putting me into a sour mood that spilled over into this morning. I started my meditation, but emotions from last night spilled in and put me off track. So, I took about a half hour to ground and cleanse myself thoroughly before continuing on to doing my morning meditations. Not something I will always have the luxury for, so I may try my best to cleanse and ground late at night to avoid a similar scenario.

Body- Usual affirmations. Feeling pretty good about my appearance.

Mind- Still a little angry, I worked with rather than against, finding episodes where my anger boiled over revolving around trans issues. In these instances, I let my rage burn away my masculine shell, a female wrath shining brightly.

Soul- Slow going here. I've done enough inner work that it almost has to become retread at this point. I floated in a sea of inner star contemplating the false duality of gender and the sexes, their relationship to binary things in nature, the roles they play, but no avatars or structure or characters were forthcoming.

I then decided to gather some of the inner world players together to preview what my mind was becoming, using the 5 emotion Inside Out model. My rage was an angelic fury, my disgust based on my inner demon Physapkward (whose new anime girl look persists), joy being the colorful clown I had spoken to, fear being a woman in a straight jacket who only wished to hide, and sadness being the sad clown. Not too much was said or done, but I felt like I had a better grip on the new me I'm becoming.

EDIT: Bit I forgot. There was a sort of avatar of toxic masculinity, the bad ideas and left over cultural programming. While thankful for them being a specimen of what not to be and how not to think, I ultimately put them in a cage so they can't make trouble.

Last, I asked some questions about fertility. A very tiny baby that kept winking in and out of existence, as my transition will likely render me sterile. The thought does not bother me too much, but there is some slight twinge of sadness there. It is a sacrifice, no matter how I call it.

Results- Feeling pretty good right now. I've noticed that today and yesterday, I've had more spontaneous, dreamlike imagery start to overlay itself in my meditations. Where usually it's an intense imagination state, some of the imagery is starting to play almost like a projector behind my eyelids. Reminiscent of lucid dreaming. Could be due to lack of sleep.