Meditation Length: 19 minutes, cooldown 5 minutes and an hour or so of napping.
Didn't get the vibration, but did get shifting colors and I shook so hard my vision blurred. Pretty much fell asleep post meditation while doing the rose quartz meditation cool down.
I feel like, the more I'm practicing, the deeper I may have to go to get the deeper results. I may experiment with letting the rage out into my body on the weekends when I'm better rested, let the shakes and growls take me where they will.
Results: My temper is a little shorter. Started working on daily gratitudes as a sort of counter balance so I don't become too negative. Definitely still feeling it in my skull.
Wednesday, February 7, 2018
Tuesday, February 6, 2018
Do Magick 30: Rage Meditation Day 6
Meditation Length: 18 minutes, 2 minute cooldown with rose quartz meditation
Got this started and trying to get written immediately afterward. Have things to do, so cooldown may need to be minimized.
So, after getting the pineal gland vibration, I tried for it again. Got some major impressions off the sigil as I continued, the first being a brighter, fiery color in the red. The second was the impression the phone was pulling toward me in the second half of the meditation, like it wanted to jump out of my hands. I got the pulling vibration, but it was brief.
Results: I've been getting more and more frustrated at work lately, and I'm wondering if this meditation is effecting things negatively.
I feel like there's something deeper past the vibration in my nose. I'm not sure how I get to it, but I feel as if, keeping the anger mental primes the button, getting the vibration is step two, and step three is... well, we'll see.
Got this started and trying to get written immediately afterward. Have things to do, so cooldown may need to be minimized.
So, after getting the pineal gland vibration, I tried for it again. Got some major impressions off the sigil as I continued, the first being a brighter, fiery color in the red. The second was the impression the phone was pulling toward me in the second half of the meditation, like it wanted to jump out of my hands. I got the pulling vibration, but it was brief.
Results: I've been getting more and more frustrated at work lately, and I'm wondering if this meditation is effecting things negatively.
I feel like there's something deeper past the vibration in my nose. I'm not sure how I get to it, but I feel as if, keeping the anger mental primes the button, getting the vibration is step two, and step three is... well, we'll see.
Monday, February 5, 2018
Do Magick 30: Rage Meditation Day 5
Meditation Length: ~15-20 minutes; cooldown ~1 hour nap, 5 minutes of meditation
As a bit of a hack to keep this more mental and reduce the physical, I did the meditation laying on my back. It seemed to help a lot in reducing the growls and shakes.
A get a lot of imagery staring into the sigil, most of it violent and mythological. This time, I got a sense of something deeper behind the sigil, like a fire or power burning behind it, and when I reached mentally for it, I got a throbbing pressure behind my nose- not quite where a usual third eye might go. Not painful, but intense and interesting.
Results: I got pretty aggravated today, frustrated with work issues. That being said, it was like Murphy's Law was chasing people today, a Monday of Mondays, where drops, spills, fumbles, and the like seemed to be almost constant. Not sure if related, but certainly interesting.
As a bit of a hack to keep this more mental and reduce the physical, I did the meditation laying on my back. It seemed to help a lot in reducing the growls and shakes.
A get a lot of imagery staring into the sigil, most of it violent and mythological. This time, I got a sense of something deeper behind the sigil, like a fire or power burning behind it, and when I reached mentally for it, I got a throbbing pressure behind my nose- not quite where a usual third eye might go. Not painful, but intense and interesting.
Results: I got pretty aggravated today, frustrated with work issues. That being said, it was like Murphy's Law was chasing people today, a Monday of Mondays, where drops, spills, fumbles, and the like seemed to be almost constant. Not sure if related, but certainly interesting.
Sunday, February 4, 2018
Do Magick 30: Rage Meditation Day 4
Meditation Length: ~17 minutes, cool down 10+
Focused on sigil, expanding list of things that infuriate me. Maintained and reset to 'mental only' several times.
More talking with entities. Essentially being baited into taking less shit and fighting back more, breaking the bindings we place on ourselves.
Calmed down with table flipping, big glass of water, slow meditative breathing while holding rose quartz.
Results: None of note yet.
Focused on sigil, expanding list of things that infuriate me. Maintained and reset to 'mental only' several times.
More talking with entities. Essentially being baited into taking less shit and fighting back more, breaking the bindings we place on ourselves.
Calmed down with table flipping, big glass of water, slow meditative breathing while holding rose quartz.
Results: None of note yet.
Saturday, February 3, 2018
Do Magick 30: Rage Meditation Day 3
Meditation Length: ~12 minutes, 3 minute cooldown
Went out to my car in the evening and focused on the sigil on my phone. I had a much harder time keeping the body feelings in, shaking, growling. Was still hot when I left my car, walked it off a little, still feeling snappy and snarly.
In the meantime, going to be using some rose quartz and meditation along with my table flips to cool down.
Results: A quick talk with an entity afterward essentially confirmed this is something they want me to build up.
My roommates note that these meditations have an effect on my personality, a little more short with things, but not bad or malicious. Will be keeping an eye on it.
Went out to my car in the evening and focused on the sigil on my phone. I had a much harder time keeping the body feelings in, shaking, growling. Was still hot when I left my car, walked it off a little, still feeling snappy and snarly.
In the meantime, going to be using some rose quartz and meditation along with my table flips to cool down.
Results: A quick talk with an entity afterward essentially confirmed this is something they want me to build up.
My roommates note that these meditations have an effect on my personality, a little more short with things, but not bad or malicious. Will be keeping an eye on it.
Friday, February 2, 2018
Do Magick 30: Rage Meditation Day 2
Meditation Length: ~16 minutes
Prior to meditation, I cleansed energetically, to keep the rage more purely in tune with myself, not some psychic static of another. I may experiment with setting up some sacred space next time, see if it improves or changes anything.
Prior to meditation, I cleansed energetically, to keep the rage more purely in tune with myself, not some psychic static of another. I may experiment with setting up some sacred space next time, see if it improves or changes anything.
Focused on the sigil. This time I tried to focus the rage into the mind, not letting it seep into my body too readily. On occasion, I still found myself growling or my breathing changing, but I would simply redirect, allowing the pressure to build into my gaze, my thoughts, my skull.
Somewhere midstream, I shut my eyes in a silent scream that seemed to create a high pitched whistling in my ears.
As it built up, I eventually let the damn burst, growling, roaring, yelling, accidentally scaring the cat (sorry kitty!). My throat hurts a little from all the gutteral noise.
I cut it off just a little after the cat freaked out, thinking about neighbors and such. I think, were I more isolated, I might go a little more bonkers, but for now, I'm exercising caution. I think I will attempt to lengthen this a little more each day, see how far it can go.
Listening to some calming binaurals post meditation, used the tableflip a bunch. There's still a lot of residual body energy, adrenaline and such.
Results: Nothing I've noticed yet, but I'm keeping a look out for any bleed over, feelings of calm from purging, spontaneous combustions, etc.
Somewhere midstream, I shut my eyes in a silent scream that seemed to create a high pitched whistling in my ears.
As it built up, I eventually let the damn burst, growling, roaring, yelling, accidentally scaring the cat (sorry kitty!). My throat hurts a little from all the gutteral noise.
I cut it off just a little after the cat freaked out, thinking about neighbors and such. I think, were I more isolated, I might go a little more bonkers, but for now, I'm exercising caution. I think I will attempt to lengthen this a little more each day, see how far it can go.
Listening to some calming binaurals post meditation, used the tableflip a bunch. There's still a lot of residual body energy, adrenaline and such.
Results: Nothing I've noticed yet, but I'm keeping a look out for any bleed over, feelings of calm from purging, spontaneous combustions, etc.
Thursday, February 1, 2018
Do Magick 30: Rage Meditation Day 1
Total time of fury: ~14 minutes
Sat down and stared at the sigil this morning, putting in headphones, but not using the blue noise, as the house was quiet enough that I shouldn't be distracted.
The state itself only took thinking of a few upsetting events and individuals to get burning. The body pretty much knows the way, tightening up, fingers curling, teeth clenched, lips peeled back, hyperventilating and eventually growling like an animal as I shake. Sympathetic nervous system engaged, I keep myself angry and can feel it in my guts- and it hurts a little. Midway it kind of peaks out, breathing so rapid my mouth dries and I have to slow down. I can tell I could keep the state a longer time, but I can also tell this will have a lot of body consequence along with mental.
I think I'll try to keep the state a little longer each day, while trying to refine the action to being more purely mental while I focus on the sigil. Stoke the fury without taxing my adrenaline system excessively, so to speak.
Results: A dog began barking in the middle of it. During my entire December run, I never remember a dog barking. Potentially responding to the vibe I'm putting out?
Earlier this month, I bought a dollar store piece of doll furniture, specifically a table, and emblazoned it with a sigil. It's essentially to be used as a rage sink, so you can 'table flip' safely and feel your anger subside. I think I'm going to try and use that post meditation to ensure I don't bring this stuff with me to work or other social activities.
Sat down and stared at the sigil this morning, putting in headphones, but not using the blue noise, as the house was quiet enough that I shouldn't be distracted.
The state itself only took thinking of a few upsetting events and individuals to get burning. The body pretty much knows the way, tightening up, fingers curling, teeth clenched, lips peeled back, hyperventilating and eventually growling like an animal as I shake. Sympathetic nervous system engaged, I keep myself angry and can feel it in my guts- and it hurts a little. Midway it kind of peaks out, breathing so rapid my mouth dries and I have to slow down. I can tell I could keep the state a longer time, but I can also tell this will have a lot of body consequence along with mental.
I think I'll try to keep the state a little longer each day, while trying to refine the action to being more purely mental while I focus on the sigil. Stoke the fury without taxing my adrenaline system excessively, so to speak.
Results: A dog began barking in the middle of it. During my entire December run, I never remember a dog barking. Potentially responding to the vibe I'm putting out?
Earlier this month, I bought a dollar store piece of doll furniture, specifically a table, and emblazoned it with a sigil. It's essentially to be used as a rage sink, so you can 'table flip' safely and feel your anger subside. I think I'm going to try and use that post meditation to ensure I don't bring this stuff with me to work or other social activities.
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